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Saturday FTB: NHL’s return to play plan to include mutant turtles?

A series of bizarre but seemingly isolated incidents involving hockey players and turtles has led to tragedy. But the NHL has reportedly seen an opportunity to play a full season without risking the health of their players — using mutant turtle men that are immune to COVID-19.

But let’s go back to the beginning. It all starts with Braden Holtby and his new contract with the Vancouver Canucks. After signing the new deal, Holtby and his family began the process to move to their new home until they hit a snag at the border.