If the offer is "all or nothing," the Toronto Maple Leafs have inevitably settled for the latter.
They haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967, which also was their most recent appearance in the Stanley Cup Final. Their seasons either end with the muted disappointment of air slowly seeping out of their party balloons or in absolute calamity, depending on their postseason proximity to the Boston Bruins.
They are the Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football of professional hockey, with fans and reckless idealists like yours truly annually convinced they're going to connect on a kick before falling flat on their backs yet again, bellowing, "Good grief!