He's actually kind of a big deal y'all. Here's a sampling of his accomplishments and eclectic eccentricities:
- is the new night manager at a local Wendy's
- maintained both a 1.5 GPA and Dean's List all the way through his nine years of undergraduate work at Florida University
- by using a shovel, he once dug a hole
- cuts his own hair
- unlike his favorite gator player, has never murdered anyone!!
- recently (successfully) switched from velcro straps to shoes with actual laces
- can operate his mom's convection oven
- doesn't mind burned tater tots
- is widely known throughout section 513 in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium as the best heckler of opposing fans' children
- finished reading his first short story this past summer
- still doesn't realize Algernon is a fictitious lab rat and is not a city in Central Mexico where the US sends children with mental handicaps
- got the t-shirt he's wearing for free by means of a shirt cannon at a gymnastics meet
- paid $28.