Scary Alvarez Season Preview: part one

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports There you were—deep into September with no Big Ten football, leaving you with the indignity of watching other conferences play in front of fans so clueless that 90% of them can’t even figure out how to wear a goddamn COVID mask. And then it started: a buzz about the Big Ten playing that injected some hope back into your moribund existence that had been reduced to watching Big Ten Classic and Cobra Kai. That buzz quickly turned into a roar and, one short week later, Dave Revsine’s favorite conference was back.

Because I’m a loving God, in between buying wine islands at deep discounts and searching for a COVID cure in my private laboratory, I’ve prepared for you a…