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Gentle Clowns proclaim dominance over Dirty Bird, anticipate a beating so bad it’ll send Cardinal back to 1892

As Babe Ruth once (probably fictitiously) said to Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez in “The Sandlot”: “Heroes get remembered, kid, but legends never die.”

The Badger Herald aka “Gentle Clowns” will cement itself in the history books with a convincing victory over the Daily Cardinal in the two campus news organizations’ (that term is used loosely in the Cardinal’s case) annual football game.

Although the Gentle Clowns won the softball game in the spring, they will be looking to snap a two-year losing streak in football.

“I’m telling you, the numbers, they just don’t add up,” Gentle Clown Publisher John “Call Me J-Bats” Batterman said, a common phrase he’s uttered this past year.