The statistical doppelganger machine comes for Bilal Coulibaly

I’m probably going to end up compressing my traditional player-by-player offseason statistical doppelganger series because I have stared into the abyss, and I don’t want to be responsible for the extended anguish some of the more sensitive Washington Wizards fans.

Don’t worry — I’m going to make you suffer through some of my pain. I just don’t think everyone needs a full dose of Wizards sturm and drang.

Now, the doppelganger machine isn’t high science. Overall, it does a reasonably good of showing a player’s overall style and quality of production. That said, it was built for offseason fun and hijinks, and...well...the results this year with this roster are not fun. Maybe it’ll be more fun to…