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*Eyes open*

A few thousand Cougs are milling about Gesa Field as ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain blares over the speakers. The Wisconsin football anthem remains in the Palouse stadium. The Wisconsin football team does not.

*Blink*

Fa’alili Fa’amoe, the redshirt sophomore offensive lineman, literally carries Cam Ward across ABC’s imaginary first down line. A yellow flag is thrown. Disney’s Louis Riddick, the former Monday Night Football announcer (unless it was Mark Jones) explains that “the penalty was HBO, Helping a Brother Out”.

*Blink*

Jaden Hicks breaks on a crossing route like a semitruck accelerating down the hill into Lewiston, Idaho.