Look 'Hoos Tweeting

It was a busy week in the world of Twitter with the UVA football players having some time off due to the bye week and the UVA basketball team vowing to grow out their hair until the team reaches the NCAA Tournament.  Whether it was relationship advice from UVA tight end Jay Mathis or the unpleasant and odorous effects of asparagus from Canadian country boy and UVA offensive guard Austin Pasztor, there were plenty of tweets to choose from for this week's edition of Look 'Hoos Tweeting.  Let's get to it...

[caption id="attachment_414" align="alignright" width="115" caption="March Madness baby! James Johnson come March. Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

1.  @bubevans1 (UVA Point Guard Jontel Evans) - My bro @MScottuva23 (UVA Forward Mike Scott) put it out there that we not cutting our hair until UVA basketball returns to the tournament

Now this is awesome!  I can only hope that the whole team is participating in this 'froathon.  Can you imagine a team full of afros come late February with a tourney birth on the line?  Now that's a story, ESPN!  I have so many questions, though.  What will Sammy Z look like with hair?  What happens if, Heaven forbid, we don't make the tournament?  Can James Johnson grow a huge red afro?  Will Tony Bennett compromise on not cutting his hair and grow a mustache instead?

2.  @TRawwww30 (UVA Shooting Guard Thomas Rogers) - when my mom gets mad at me she makes sure that I know she's mad. Just heard her slam a door downstairs..i'm still scared of her lol.

You're not alone, brother.  No matter old you are, there's always reason to be scared of an angry mother.  Especially when she threatens to 'tell your father'...

[caption id="attachment_415" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Don't mess with the little people. Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

3.  @ajmitchell25 (UVA Forward Akil Mitchell) - I know it's messed up but I find midgets HILARIOUS lol

You're damned straight that's messed up!  Don't be hatin' on little people, Akil.  Without them we'd have no Willy Wonka (he's nothing without the oompa loompas), we'd have no Dr. Evil (without Mini Me, he wouldn't be nearly as evil), and Jackass just wouldn't be the same (after all, any stunt with Weeman is just...well...funnier).  Okay, Akil - perhaps you have a point...albeit a small one (Lord, I apologize).

4.  @liveforB (UVA Linebacker Daquan Romero) - Chinese or chipotle?

Come on son, you go to UVA...you haveto know the answer to this.  Chipotle.  All day.  Every day.  No questions asked.  Chicken burrito bowl, black beans, cheese, lettuce and corn salsa.  Get me some chips too, while you're at it.  Oh - and a Diet Coke...gotta watch the calorie intake.

[caption id="attachment_416" align="alignright" width="200" caption="You sit on a thrown of lies Mr. Men's Warehouse! Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

5.  @MORGANMOSES_78 (UVA Offensive Guard Morgan Moses) - Just finish paying bills... now on to mens warehouse to get my grown man on

Men's Warehouse?  There have to be better places out there to get your grown man on.  Do they even make things there that fit on people the size of Morgan Moses?  There's no way they can guarantee Big Mo is going to like the way he looks when he walks out of their door. 

6.  Next up, we get some sage relationship insights from one of our favorite tweeters - Jay Mathis.

@Cavboi81 (UVA Tight End Jay Mathis) YO I will Neva sleep on the couch when me and my lady get in an argument #AintGoinDown

The couch?  Consider yourself lucky if you end up on the couch!  Comfortable, availability of blankets, TV usually in the room.  Be careful what you wish for, Jay.  You'll probably find yourself somewhere in the back yard.

@Cavboi81  (UVA Tight End Jay Mathis) #oomf feelings bout to get hurt in the HIGHEST way once I grab this remote and turn to the game...THIS MY HOUSE!!!

[caption id="attachment_417" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Mr. Mathis' permanent location as a married man. Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

First off, all the athletes refer to their female companions as #oomf on Twitter.  I have no idea what it means and I can only assume it isn't an endearing term.  Moving on...Jay is such a man's man.  No sleeping on the couch, controlling the TV and turning to football instead of watching Kim Kardashian's wedding - even in the face of hurting his woman's feelings.  Unfortunately, it appears that young Jay has a lot to learn about women.  You had better get used to that couch, my friend, because with this attitude you're going to end up there all alone wishing you had someone to watch 'Say Yes to the Dress' with.

@Cavboi81 (UVA Tight End Jay Mathis) Pop:"Babe you pick up some hot sauce" Mom: Naw babe I forgot Pop: Get ya head in the game girl ME: DYINGGGGGGGGGGG lmaoo

Well, at least we see where it comes from.  Of course, Jay could learn something here from his old man.  Note how he diffuses the situation with a joke, but doesn't really press much further on the fact that his wife forgot the hot sauce.  And for good reason, he doesn't want to end up on the porch

[caption id="attachment_418" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Can you hear me NOW? Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

7.  @multimili (UVA Fullback Max Milien) - Everyone stop hating on my phone iPhone 4s has been ordered. Goodbye flip phone.

Flip phone?  People were teasing me so much for still having the 3GS iPhone that I cracked and ordered the 4S.  What is this, 2008?  Get with it, Max. 

8.  @tim_smith20 (UVA Wide Receiver Tim Smith) - @multimili (UVA FB Max Millien) be on the chick flicks heavy.. You getting yo nails painted too? LOL

First the flip phone, now the chick flicks.  Mad Max is sounding more and more like my mother-in-law!  Man up, Max, we've got ACC football to play.

[caption id="attachment_419" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Thanks for inviting me back to Homecoming! Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

9.  The UVA football team has it's toughest test of the season coming on Saturday when the Cavaliers host the #12 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets for the 2011 UVA Homecoming Weekend [I thought you were supposed to schedule a scrub for Homecoming???].  The players seem to have a very positive and upbeat outlook for Saturday's game....I wish I could say the same.  It will be mildy amusing, and perhaps a little sickening, to see former UVA coach Al Groh roam the sideline once again in Scott Stadium as Georgia Tech's Defensive Coordinator.  At any rate, here is this week's best:

@tim_smith20 Tim SmithNight.. The grind really kicks in tomorrow...#ACCPlay #UpsetAlert #Homecoming

Okay, Tim has me fired up.  I was without Cavalier football last weekend and I'm hungry for a win - especially one over a top 15 team and one over a team that has Al Groh on their sideline.  #Wahoowa

10.  Sticking with college football, Dom Joseph perfectly summed up my feelings on Virginia Tech's escape out of Blacksburg last Saturday with the following tweet:

[caption id="attachment_420" align="alignright" width="124" caption="It's never too early... Photo / The Internet"][/caption]

@Dom_Jo23 (UVA Defensive Back Dom Joseph)  "@Schd4UVA: @Dom_Jo23 can any body be luckier than va, tech?”<<< never, it's like that every year.. They get let off the hook!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.  Always getting let off the hook.  Always having some lucky, BS play turning the tide of the game for them.  What does it take to keep these guys permanently down?  #PleaseGodCanWeBeatThemThisYear

11.  @Dom_Jo23 (UVA Defensive Back Dom Joseph) Yo I just ran over a raccoon.... Sorry little fella... Youre not suppose to be out this early anyway...

Okay, Dom - I was all in with the Virginia Tech comments.  But this is just unacceptable!  Running over raccoons and then blaming your heartless deeds on the little guy's sleeping habits.  Tisk, Tisk.  Karma will catch up to you eventually, let's just hope it doesn't decide to take it revenge on the football field.

[caption id="attachment_409" align="alignright" width="179" caption="Warning: Your pee will smell for months, though you may never know it.  Photo / Austin Pastzor"][/caption]

12. @BigMullah63 (UVA Offensive Guard Austin Pasztor) - pickled asparagus is on point. #asparagusfarmertweet #peegonstink

Glad to know that Austin is in the 'asparagus makes my pee stink' club.  If you assumed that this was a common occurrence for all individuals who eat asparagus, then you have guessed correctly my friend!  As it turns out, everyone's urine is infused with a distinct odor after eating asparagus - only a select few, however (somewhere between 20-50% of the population), have a specific gene that allows them to detect the smell.  Which means not everyone is so keenly aware of the 'asparagus pee'.  On that note, here's a free tip: don't bring up anything about getting 'asparagus pee' at an informal business lunch unless you want to draw a bunch of blank, disgusted stares from your colleagues who aren't special enough to have such a fine sense of smell.

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