Last night, Ole Piss and their Fabulous Ball-Throwing Ostrich, Doug Nikhazy, survived a late charge from the Auburn University War Tigers to win 7-4 and advance to day two.
As you know from our series against them in mid-May, that Ostrich is their best pitcher. He won’t be available tonight. You also know that their second best pitcher is their closer, Taylor “Broadway Taylor” Broadway, and he also likely won’t be available tonight after throwing 2 & 1⁄3 IP to record the save.
*Note: Gunnar “The Hog” Hoglung may well have been their best overall pitcher, but he shook hands with Tommy John earlier this season.