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Anonymous Eagle stops by to answer your Chris Farley-related questions

It’s 1977. You’re the Marquette Warriors, your coach is Al McGuire, your players are Butch Lee, Bo Ellis, and Jerome Whitehead, and you’re playing UNC for the national title, and your team photo looks like this:

The ‘70s, man.

Now it’s 2016. You’ve changed your name to the Marquette Golden Eagles, your coach is a former Duke assistant whose name is long and unpronounceable (what, do you think if people can’t pronounce the guy’s name that automatically makes him a good coach?), you haven’t even made the tournament in three years, and you actually have players named Sandy and Traci and Katin on your team.