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Kirby: Soup’s on? Nope, it’s off. Blasted store didn’t have any squirrel or possum or rat or monkey or ...

Alert: Today’s column may be offensive to PETA members, vegans and others who don’t regard animals as food. Proceed at your own risk.

I just got back from the grocery store, where I tried to pick a fight with Ryan, the manager of the meat counter. He refused to cooperate with a legitimate request. As a customer — who is supposed to be right — I’m still fuming.

The confrontation stemmed from the recent discovery of my Grandma Pearl’s cookbook, which hasn’t been opened since she died 25 years ago. Flipping through it brought back a lot of memories.