These teams have combined for five losses in six games and somehow that might not fully convey their futility.
One will be without its opening-day starting running back, the other without its opening-day head coach.
One is ranked next to last in the Big Ten Conference in points scored, the other worse.
They will meet in a temporary lakeside stadium, where the home team is averaging 10,835 fans per game and a vile wind can make throwing the football a fool’s errand.
A marquee outside the place could read: UCLA versus Northwestern — Technically, it’s still college football.