New experiences! New feelings! New emotions! The Toronto Raptors had never led 3 to 1 in a playoff series before this one! I’ve never felt this way before, what do I do with my hands!?
Yes, the Toronto Raptors are in a position of relative security when it comes to their playoff advancement, and the playoff series isn’t even over yet. And, as well all know, no team has ever blown a 3 to 1 playoff lead, making the “relative” qualifier a mere formality here. The Raptors have already won the basketball series.
(Editor’s Note: Jacob does not go on to indicate that he is being sarcastic in the following paragraph of his introduction, so it falls on me to inform you that he is, in fact, a liar.