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Wednesday’s FTB: We are proud to announce the grand opening of our new sports bar

PPP Industrial Solvents and Kitten Ranching Concerns GmbH is proud to announce that we will be opening a new sports bar that will revolutionize fine foods and watching sports — Empty Calories Gastropub.

It will be conveniently located at historic 1 Species’ Basement Ave, located in the basement of the building to set a familiar and comfortable atmosphere for hockey bloggers in Toronto. It will be known for it’s diverse menu, friendly staff, outlandishly expensive add ons. Our servers will be led by Leafs’ great, James van Riemsdyk. All servers will have the same novelty chain around their ankles, just like JVR — the original servant in Species’ basement.