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Let’s Just Contract The Ottawa Senators

If you are a fan of hockey and/or debacles, you may have heard that the Ottawa Senators made a trade yesterday. They dealt Erik Karlsson, generational defenceman, to the San Jose Sharks for (checks notes) three balls of yarn and some peanut butter. Many fans considered this the worst of the many humiliations they have suffered. It was the most recent, at least, stretching back to....last week.

For reasons that make more sense if you have recently consumed hallucinogenic drugs, Senators owner Eugene Melnyk elected to star in a video in which he was interviewed by Senators third-pair defenceman Mark Borowiecki.