Let us acknowledge the noble goaltender. The last line of defense, tirelessly doing the thankless work of keeping pucks out of the net, sacrificing their own bodies to block vulcanized rubber fired at upward of 100 miles per hour, all the while knowing that they’ll take the blame for the bad and rarely get the glory for the good. They’re hockey’s unsung heroes, doing the hardest job in all of sports without credit or complaint.
Well… unless they’re just big weird oafs in oversized equipment who are ruining the game we love, robotically sucking the excitement out of the sport in between bouts of flopping and crying about somebody barely brushing up against them in what's supposed to be a contact sport.