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Five Potential New Names for Washington’s Football Team

Who knew that all it would take for the football team in Washington to change their name would be their home field’s title sponsor not-so-gently suggesting it, threatening the loss of millions of dollars and an expedited sprint of corporations running away from the franchise?

*Raises hand*

Of course, this was always about money! Who does things out of the goodness of their hearts anymore? And now that the national consciousness has shifted to Daniel Snyder’s football club, there is real and absolute pressure on the owner to hire a branding team, round up focus groups, gobble up designers and artists and produce a new look for his football team.