Watching an Eagles game is like watching some poor soul trying to assemble a trundle bed from a Scandinavian furniture outlet with half of the tools missing and the instruction sheet flipped upside down. They know how it's supposed to look, and so do you. They had high hopes when they left the store. Yet there they are, trying to hammer a wood screw into a dowel nut with a pingpong paddle. You want to help them, or at least hug them, but you are a mere spectator.
Rooting for the Eagles means rooting for pass interference calls and roughing-the-passer penalties to power the offense, hoping the opposing defense forgets to cover Zach Ertz, praying that the replay review reveals that Carson Wentz's knee was down before the ball popped out and closing your eyes when the defense faces 3rd-and-15 so you don't have to watch Ronald Darby misplay a deep ball after the offensive line picks up Jim Schwartz's 10-man blitz.