MIAMI — Don’t watch this tape. Bury it. Burn it. Purge it from the NBA archives. Heat-Celtics on Wednesday wasn’t a game—it was a rock fight. If it was a TV show, it would have been canceled at halftime. If it was a movie, it would have won a Razzie. ESPN would have been forgiven for cutting into the game for special coverage of Tom Brady’s (alleged) golf shot.
Boston won Game 5 of these Eastern Conference Finals, taking a 3–2 series lead. Viewers lost. It was 19–17 Miami after the first quarter.