We’ve long since abandoned our hope for the beautiful NFL this year. Outside of a select few offenses serving up Grand Velas tacos, it’s mostly fast food for miles out there. The kind of stuff that sounds good when screamed at you through a television screen and leaves you in debilitating abdominal pain the next morning.
This isn’t to discount Cheetos-dusted tortilla gumbo quesadillas. It’s a culinary adventure, and in the absence of something that deserves to be served to distant kings and princes, we would rather wash down this sodium bomb with a cold Mountain Dew and enjoy what blessed days we have left on this Earth.