As you all may remember, I made an appeal to the football gods for our kickers to play better. And would you look at that, about the only bright side of our team has been kicking. Clearly I have some pull with the refs upstairs, so I’m going to try it again.
Dear merciful One True Commissioners,
Despite our offerings of beer and tailgate food, our team is suffering mightily on the field. You granted us the quarterback to return us to glory, but made him out of glass. You allowed us to return veteran offensive linemen with NFL talent, but took away their memory of how to actually block.