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THE TAILGATE: A Graphical Preview of Texas A&M vs Arkansas

I’m starting this week from a place of care and concern. How are you? Yes, you; the Aggie football faithful. This isn’t about me right now, it’s about how you feel. This team could not be facing a more manic schedule than it has over the past four games, and that mania can sometimes result in fannitis furiosa. This condition, according to the AMA, manifests in symptoms including ensuring all parties remain in place when a drive is going well, tweeting at coaches and players, or purchasing an obscene amount of Ken dolls and tiny Yell Leader outfits.

If you’re exhibiting any or all of these symptoms, talk to your doctor about Arkansalve.