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Rays' starting pitcher first month report card: Bolton Sunshine Academy edition

In the TV series Arrested Development, Maeby Funke attends a school called Bolton Sunshine Academy. Being one of the new-age institutions of learning, the school does not give out traditional grades like ‘A,’ ‘B,’ or ‘C,’ but rather lets the students know their overall progress through inanimate objects and drawings. That’s how Maeby ends up with a “crocodile” in spelling.

Trying to grade the first month of baseball should be treated the same way. The season isn’t far enough along to hand out actual grades like ‘A,’ ‘B,’ or ‘C,’ but it’s still useful to give some sort of feel for how the first month has treated certain players.