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The infinite Syracuse football road trip diary: Florida State

Hoya Suxa is aiming to attend 7 of Syracuse’s 12 regular season football games this year. He’ll be filing short travelogues from his journeys.

REGIONAL ADVERTISERS ON 12:30 “ACC GAME OF THE WEEK OF THE DAY OF THE EARLY AFTERNOON ON A CHANNEL YOU DIDN’T KNOW EXISTED” RAYCOM GAMES HAVE FINALLY BROKEN OUR BRAINS

With Syracuse planting its flag at the northern edge of the ACC’s territory, much of the league’s cultural touchpoints are, at best, only somewhat relatable and, at worst, the assumed consequence of aliens living in plain sight in the Southeast. I have no idea what a Mellow Mushroom is or why a gelatinous blob from Universe X10024 that has assumed the form of an Earth Human would want it, but the ACC has had no problem firing the gospel of this joint — it could be a front for an alien assimilation center, but the lying government hasn’t even opened an official investigation yet — at Syracuse fans for the last five years like it was totally normal that actual humans would want to eat what I can only assume is a very large english muffin pizza made in an industrial kitchen at Greensboro Middle School (Go Fightin’ Illiterates!