Half of his bottom teeth have been gone for as long as anyone can remember, for a reason nobody can remember, causing his tongue to perpetually poke out of one side of his mouth. He has soft soles that require orthopedic shoes. His hair grows out so ratty that it has to be shaved before he can be taken anywhere nice. And he has a still relatively mysterious ailment that causes what his boss calls “this weird twitching.”
And yet, women across the Southeastern Conference cross their fingers in hopes of being matched up with him on spring weekends.