Sound the alarm, alert the neighbours, and stand to attention, because it's time for another transfer rumours roundup.
We have some stormers for you today, as Newcastle chase £20m for Dwight Gayle, and Gianluigi Buffon is reported to be on the move to the Championship. Unfortunately we're not even joking on either of those.
Has Dwight Gayle had a stellar season in the Championship? Yes. As a result, is he all of a sudden a reasonably valuable asset to both Newcastle and West Brom, who had him on loan last season? Yes. Is £20m anything other than an absolutely mental price tag for a 28-year-old who has never really made the cut in the Premier League, despite almost 100 appearances in the competition?