The Tape: One night in 1984, Part 2

I greatly dislike the imposition of a fist bump. Please, should we ever meet, do not dangle your fist in front of me. I do not wish to “bump it.” We may, if you’re inclined, shake hands.

I do my best not to nurture petty annoyances but they sprout up anyway. One such annoyance is the proliferation of the word “hydrate.” People do not drink water anymore. They form a chemical compound of water and themselves, I guess, which they call “hydrating” and which imparts something pseudo-scientific to the otherwise eighth-grade Sewickley notion that, y’know, if you’re thirsty you should drink water.

Jack Patera did not see the common sense in this essential act of maintaining homeostasis. God knows…