I’m as excited as anybody about the Seahawks signing Marshawn Lynch. I instantly had visions of Lynch dancing with sugar plum fairies in the 49ers end zone, knocking Niners defenders over like so many toy soldiers. Ah, it was glorious. To see him go Beast Mode again, shedding tacklers like a Wal*Mart manager kicking out last-minute shoppers on Christmas Eve. Such a warm, cheery glow.
Then I remembered that Marshawn Lynch hasn’t played any football since Week Six of 2018. All good little 12s remember that 2015 had been a tough year for him, as his season was cut short after surgery for a sports hernia.