EXT: A MANSION IN VIRIDIAN, TX. Monthly HOA fees cost more than your first car.
BRUCE BOCHY: [Welcoming in the SEATTLE MARINERS, who troop into the massive entryway suspiciously]
Hello, hello, welcome to my humble abode. Oh, the Field House? We got rid of that place. The air conditioning here is much more powerful. We get three, four birds a day caught in that thing. You guys like pigeon? Where’s Mike with the snacks?
[MIKE MADDUX appears with a tray of Lil’ Smokies wrapped in Kraft singles wrapped again in Wonder Bread and gently, but insistently, presses it beneath the chin of each player in turn until they accept a meat roll.