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Mariners turn back mental clocks, recall competent baseball, beat Astros 5-2

*Disclaimer: This is being written from the bleaches of Everett Memorial Stadium, where Robinson Canó is making another rehab start, and where Team Lookout Landing triumphed over Team JSLAM/710 ESPN in the pizza box toss challenge

This series in Houston was supposed to be the Dark Time. The Mariners were supposed to cruise through the Blue Jays and the Rangers, then falter against the Astros because, well, everyone is supposed to falter against the Astros.

Two games later and they’re guaranteed to escape the snow globe hellscape of Minute Maid Park with a series split at least.