The Mariners defeated the Royals in their series opener tonight, 6-2, sparked by a two-homer night from Randy Arozarena, who celebrated with his fans in “Randyland” in left field.
If you have ever played Candyland, you know what an interminable and frustrating game it can be: someone is right on the precipice of winning, only to draw one of the cards that lands you all the way back, wiping out your progress on the board. Candyland is the only board game I’ve ever cheated at, and only for the purposes of ending a game that’s coughed up a series of death rattles but refuses, cockroach-like, to succumb to the blessed feeling of putting that nightmarish board back in its box.