In a radio-only, dinger-fueled shootout at the Less-Than-Ok Corral in wherever the hell Surprise, Arizona is, the Mariners out-blasted the Rangers today, 9-7. No Mariners players were injured in today’s action. This game doesn’t count for anything, but I don’t need much of an excuse to post this:
I’m kidding, of course. Nothing but respect for all the Rangers fans out there. All (checks notes) six of you. Your stadium plays like the surface of the sun most of the season and it sells an offensively large hot dog called a “boomstick,” named after the player who misplayed a ball that would have won the team’s first World Series ever and who subsequently became the Mariners’ second most beloved designated hitter of all time.