First of all, how dare you, Minnesota.
How dare you sit there, so smugly, in the north central part of the country. Trying to pretend like you’re quaint and cozy and unassuming down south, like Iowa, but once you hit Duluth WHOA BABY all bets are off. Flanking the Dakotas gives you a sense of superiority, but you’re far too close to Winnipeg for any misplaced elitism. And what the ever-loving heck is the deal with Angle Inlet?
We appreciated the unintentional sacrifice your football team made back in 2016, but maybe now you could take Blair Walsh back?