What even is the opposite of a road warrior? A road coward? A road pacifist? Probably only George Miller knows for sure, but those in the Pacific Northwest have every right to nominate another candidate: the Seattle Mariners.
This year's club hasn't been waging much war on the road, after all. They are 32-40 away from T-Mobile Park, a record that bodes terribly for their chances of making the playoffs, much less going far in October. And they've only been getting worse, as they haven't won a single road series in the second half and are 3-12 in their last 15 road games.