There is a tired joke I make on Twitter every time Mitch Haniger does something good:
Aside from clarifying the important grammatical note that it would be Mitches Haniger, not Hanigers, similar to Attorneys General, beneath this jokey facade is a very real longing for the Mariners to have a lineup that, if not nine Mitches deep, at least featured players the average fan would be able to pick out of a lineup, and if not that, infielders playing in the dirt and outfielders playing the outfield. Yet even this simple request has been, in Mark Twain’s phrasing, flung down and danced upon by the Seattle Mariners, and the result has been some painful baseball to watch on both sides of the ball.