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Justin Dunn and Kyle Lewis continue making Mariners look good, Rangers continue making Rangers look bad

I was friends with a couple of Chris Woodwards growing up. I’m sure you knew the type. We’d be playing Stratego, and I’d capture the flag, and they’d say “Oh, the ‘2’ piece can’t capture the flag.” And I’d ask to see the rule book, and the rulebook would be conveniently missing from their 30-year-old copy of Stratego.

It wasn’t limited to Stratego. We’d play Tetherball, and they would inform me that I wasn’t allowed to hit the ball twice in a row. We’d be on opposite teams for Capture the Flag, and I’d suddenly learn that apparently it was “puppy guarding” if you tagged someone twice during a game.