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Everybody’s free (to not watch the Mariners any more this year)

Come with me, children, on a journey back in time: to 1997, to be exact. See, in the 90s we teens were a little too ironic, yes I really do think, but also a genuinely earnest heart beat within that nihilistic chest, still whole and unshattered by what would come at the turn of the millennium. And there’s no better way I can prove that point than by turning your attention to what is usually called “The Sunscreen Song,” but is also known as “Wear Suncreen,” but technically called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen).” 90s kids, feel free to skip this next paragraph of exposition.