DECLASSIFIED: A debriefing of the Mariners tactics in their 11-0 loss to the Cubs

**RECORDING BEGINS**

S.Servais: Alright folks, let’s get right into it. Where did the plan go wrong, how did this happen? I thought we had a plan for this?

**indistinct muttering**

D.Gordon: Well, Scott, I think we’ve identified a few key areas where our tactics didn’t quite line up.

S.S.: Go on, Sergeant Gordon.

D.G.: Okay so remember this?

S.S.: ...no, what is that?

**loud sigh**

D.G.: Sir, do you check your email?