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Absurd trade pitch shows Mariners where to hold the line on Eugenio Suárez

With every passing day leading up to the trade deadline, the hypothetical trade packages get wilder — and apparently, no team is safe from them. Naturally, the Seattle Mariners have found themselves tossed into the mix for one of the most sought-after trade chips on the market: Eugenio Suárez.

Suárez returning to Seattle is a fun thought. We’ve all entertained the idea. But some of these proposals are completely unhinged.

The latest? Courtesy of former MLB GM and current writer for The Athletic Jim Bowden, who, in the spirit of deadline drama, concocted a package that feels like satire.