The Mariners lost today, 0-5. It sucked. The bright spot for you, reader, is you were likely busy at work, because this game started at the unholy hour of 9:35 AM PT. But this puts both of us in a bind: you want to know what happened, but like, not too much about what happened; and I have the grim duty of recounting this game to you in a way that makes both of us not want to run themselves repeatedly into the wall of a dilapidated arcade with the world’s saddest bumper car. When we despair, we listicle.
10 Self Care Things To Do Instead of Watching Today’s Mariners Game
