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Of course the Giants aren’t getting Aaron Judge

I’m here on a mission of mercy. I’m here to keep you from having your heart broken. I’m here to finish this unholy trilogy of content. As with Bryce Harper and Giancarlo Stanton before, there’s simply no chance the Giants land this year’s AL MVP and lifelong San Francisco Giants fan Aaron Judge in this free agent sweepstakes.

Look, I don’t make the rules. I think the Giants should sign Judge! And Carlos Rodón. And Trea Turner. And Carlos Correa (Turner can play second and the outfield). And Kodai Senga.