I don’t dress up for Halloween, mostly because I hate it. Do you know what it’s like to be two years younger than everyone in college, which means your friends go out to the bars on your birthday and leave you to fend for yourself, unless they make a point of not going to the bars just for you, which makes you feel worse? No. No, you do not. Today should be about me. Just me. And all of you Halloween-loving dorks mess that up.
Hey, is it time for cake and presents? It sure is.