Giants play baseball game on holiday

The Giants played a baseball game on a holiday, and I didn’t watch it. I cannot recommend this lifestyle choice enough. I was in a kayak or on a mountain or on a beach or petting otters, look, it doesn’t matter. The point is that I didn’t watch the game that just ended (unless it’s in extra innings and still going on), and any attempts to pretend like I know what happened are fraudulent.

Except, I do know what happened. I have, at the very least, a good idea. Chris Stratton pitched in Coors Field. The Giants hit in Coors Field. The Giants played a baseball game. The recap basically writes itself.

Here’s what I assume happened in the game:

Stratton pitched well enough for Coors, but he also…