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Dodgers reportedly trading for Chase Utley

Well, FINE. The Giants didn't even want him anyway.

In the grand tradition of acquiring Shane Victorino and Mat Latos, the Los Angeles Dodgers are reportedly close to acquiring Chase Utley from the Philadelphia Phillies. They'll apparently give up "mid-level" prospects in the deal.

Alternate lede: So you know those jerks? They just got jerkier. They got that jerk from around the way. You know that jerk? Yeah. What a bunch of jerks.

The Giants are two games back in the NL West. They need bench help. They need a stopgap at second base.