The sooner the NFL season gets, the further away it feels.
Every day feels like a week. Every hot take feels like an open invitation to rumble. Every piece of content needs consumption because refreshing Twitter is the only way to dull the pain and fill the void.
I tried to relax a little bit by looking at some cute dogs, but my sports-fried brain just can’t seem to shut itself off.
So I power-ranked the 49ers’ players' dogs. I developed an intricate and sophisticated analytics model for this endeavour, called V.I.B.E.S. It takes into account that every dog is a good dog.