A San Francisco 49ers player is in desperate need of your help, friends. Not just a player, but a rookie -- new to this team and the scary world of the NFL. I'm talking about running back Mike Davis, and his unenviable predicament is that he's ... trying to decide which car to buy now that he's flush with NFL money.
Now, this is a problem I myself have never and will never have because for one, I'm incredibly poor and for two, I have massive anxiety and while I can drive, I'm not eager to own a vehicle or ever operate one of those death machines.