The upcoming Draft Lottery stands to reshape the future of at least one team — maybe even this team! — thanks to one of the most hyped prospects in a generation as the top prize in Victor Wembanyama. It also leaves a high chance for disappointment for anyone invested in the outcome, especially given the uncertainty of real upside outside of the top two.
Since most fans are headed towards some form of despair, and because conspiracy theories are normal these days, here we submit a justification for each team winning the Wembanyama Sweepstakes, ranked by narrative heft and believability.