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Buddy Hield, the King of shooters, will be crowned three point champion tonight

Ah, I see you visibly recoiling at that sentence, dear reader. Perhaps you’re the superstitious type who’s been burned by recent Tim Maxwellian jinxes on Twitter. Or maybe your religion preaches that the meek shall inherit the earth and pride comes before the fall. Or maybe you’re just a coward who is scared of Buddy’s greatness.

Chill out. This one’s already over. The King of shooters will be crowned tonight.

The competition is a sideshow. Steph Curry will choke on the big stage the way he always does. Dirk Nowitzki will be wheelchaired across the racks and fail to finish.