Donte Hitner and The White Mamba Steal The Show

This week's Social Media Nobel Laureate is a #NoBrainer. Donte (W)hitner decided that the the most rational rebuttal to the the league's recent $21k fine was to change his Last Name to Hitner. Duh, great call Donte. Like every great awesome idea, it comes with a line of tees, #LegalHitner. Another no-brainer. It's been scientifically proven that Wide Receivers go across the middle 34% less if there's a safety with "Hit" in his name. All of Donte's decisions are data backed.

What did my boy Donte have to say to his fans?

First off, props for pronunciation on the y'all. Secondly, MAD props for asking your Mom if you can change your name.  Family First.

Everyone knows the final step in the Federal Name Change Application (Form DS-5504) is to tweet it out. Great job Hitner, it's official.

Now that all eyes are on Mr. Hitner and everyone's waiting to see what he does next, what does he go and do...

It doesn't get any realer than watching the Indians game with a new last name.

Honorable mention to the White Mamba for showing up to his first Media Day as an Assistant Coach looking like this...

Welcome to Oakland, Brian.

Back to the Rumors Humor Newsfeed