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Alexandra Petri: You clowns believed our demand for an impeachment vote

How I laugh at the House Democrats! They should be ashamed of themselves for believing (as naive children believe) that we meant anything we said! Oh, what a laugh! Put on your cap and bells! Yes, you are the source of my mirth, and I laugh into the face of you, ho ho! Dingle dingle! That is me, doing an onomatopoeic rendition of the sounds that your folly makes!

I’m sorry, I just can’t — I can’t get over it. You thought our words had meaning. The joke is on you.

We said we wanted a full House vote to proceed with impeachment, and you thought we weren’t just saying it.